Finally
posted by McFrozen on September 12, 2001
I haven't really had an emotional reaction to any of this until tonight at about 9:30 PM my time. It was the news that 300 firefighters were missing in the rubble of the first tower to collapse, and then the footage of a bunch of construction workers walking into the smoldering remains of both towers to try to help in the search for survivors.
It took me a while to figure out why the obvious deaths of at least hundreds, prossibly thousands, of people when the planes flew into the buildings didn't really raise the tears. Of course I recognized it as horrible and tragic, but it didn't make me want to cry. Because those people never knew what was coming. Even the people on the planes may not have realized exactly what was going on. They just died. It wasn't real yet. It was just too wild.
But hearing that people had voluntarily walked into those buildings, knowing they could die, and then did die, made it really, really, really fucking real.
Now I'm crying.
Now I can't shake the image of a guy on his cellphone telling his wife that his plane is being hijacked and that he loves her as he watches somebody slash a flight attendant's throat.
Now I can't shake the image of somebody on one of those planes rocketing in looking out the window as they rocketed too low over New York City and realizing what was about to happen.
Fuck.