Terrorism Alert part 2
posted by Dick Septic on February 7, 2003
Tom Ridge also took the opportunity to announce the new "Courtney Love Nipp-Alert Program."
Said Tom, "If you are an airline passenger, or at a punk-rock funeral, you will be able to determine Ms. Love's level of attention neediness by the color of her nipples. They will range from green (riding a good high) to red (my god i haven't been in the news in a week!) to black (sleeeeeeepppyyy....). All citizens within a half mile radius are encouraged to find cover if the nipples turn candy-orange."
In a followup briefing Secretary of State Powell had volunteered to monitor the situation very closely.
Said Powell, "We're very worried about Ms. Love and feel that my direct involvement will be key to the safety of her and those around her."
Mr. Powell then pointed at the Love Color Meter postioned on an easel behind him and said, "Once this girl turns black there's no going back."
There were scattered giggles amonst the reporters on hand.
Posted by: Richard Septic at February 7, 2003 12:56 PM