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March 28, 2003
Hi Kong!
Posted by Lang Squal at 02:19 PM
Handy Anti-Terrorism Tips
https://www.houstonjusticenotwar.org/articles/terrorist_attack/
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
Posted by Paul at 10:20 AM
March 27, 2003
Paul Masson 2, Orson Welles 0
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 06:00 PM
Hey, McDave,
Got any cats this smart in Alasker?
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 04:58 PM
Go, Whole Foods!
B&C's idea of natural selection
An op/ed piece in the Boston Globe about a rumored plan by Bread & Circus to drive a local nonprofit coop out of business.
Posted by mccreath at 12:32 PM
March 26, 2003
Point-Counterpoint
You're getting worked up over nothing. Everything is going to be fine. So just relax, okay? You're really overreacting.
Posted by Mike at 01:42 PM
The Daily Patriot
U.S. EBay Seller Refuses Canucks
Yay for us!
Posted by mccreath at 01:32 PM
2 geniuses disguss the war:
Stpl Rmvr: Do tell, how are things in America?
Hoyt: Fine by me! My new strategy, which you may borrow, is whenever anyone begins to discuss "THE W#R" with me, pro or con, I say "Bad touch!", and walk away from them. If nothing else, it leaves them completely confused, and best of all, they NEVER approach you again about it!
Stpl Rmvr: good strategy. that'd be cool if i could pee slices of bologna every time the war is mentioned, big round circles of it dropping out my pants legs everywhere, nice… and then, if the slices get stepped on, they scream. or sing the chorus of Little Surrey with the Fringe on Top your choice
Hoyt: Oh, Little Surrey! Little Surrey! Man, that's freakin' BEAUTIFUL!!!! (taking a knee for your genius)
Stpl Rmvr: hey, anything to stop the war!
Hoyt: I'd also accept a chorus of midgets, inhaling helium and playing tubas, singing "It's A Small World" while defiantly jumping up and down.
Stpl Rmvr: or what about midgets playing TAPS on their tubas while hiking cross country? Now THAT'D be a protest!
Hoyt: That reminds me, I need to learn to pee fire. It just seems like a good thing to be able to do, especially when camping.
Stpl Rmvr: right, or maybe each nad could be a spigget, one fire, one water (for putting out the previous nad-fire).
However, no matter how "natural" you claim that water is, I aint drinkin it!
Hoyt: Nad-Fire, an excellent heavy metal band name! Let's form it!!!
Stpl Rmvr: ok, but i don't want no fire inspecotrs pokin around you-know-where! not again anyway
Hoyt: I hear ya! They didn't even buy me flowers last time!!!
Stpl Rmvr: plus they left a scar, next to my piercing
Hoyt: I know, I can feel it!
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:14 PM
More Shameless Promotion
Saturday 3/29/2003
Propeller Records presents
Keg Vultures "Beer Canon" cd release show!
at Graffiti's Bar & Grille 2401 W Howard Lane Austin TX
tel. 512-255-8003
Keg Vultures 8:30 pm
Toof 9:30 pm
blued 10:30 pm
https://www.propellerrecords.com/
https://www.blued.net/
https://toof.nounandverb.com/
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 01:07 PM
March 25, 2003
Jesus the Monster Truck
too much goodness to point out any one thing. just dive in.
Posted by Mike at 06:18 PM
I'm Moving
to Dog Island. Caves and wild bunnies, what more could a person want?
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 05:53 PM
Ecstacy and Courtside Seats Don't Mix
Security guards had to escort fashion designer Calvin Klein back to his seat at a New York Knicks game after he walked up to Latrell Sprewell and talked to him in the middle of play.
Posted by Mike at 02:57 PM
Baby Drop Sculpture
You'll want it.
Posted by Mike at 02:39 PM
Today's Shining Moment of Patriotism
Posted by mccreath at 12:14 PM
More on Clear Channel
(formerly Lang Squal)
Posted by Lang Squal at 10:19 AM
March 24, 2003
Smurf Porn
not work friendly, but get down on yo ass funky.
Posted by Mike at 07:28 PM
March 22, 2003
An ideal tenant
I hate these people.
Posted by Mike at 11:08 AM
March 21, 2003
The Punker Bunker
If we pool our money, we can buy a converted ATLAS-F missle silo for $2.3 million. Who's in?
Posted by mccreath at 05:02 PM
March 20, 2003
remember
when cheney said he thought it was in our best interest to open like a nuclear reactor per week for the next ten years? i wonder why he hasn't been talking so much about that lately.
also, has anyone else been noticing that haliburton has the contract to run the armies kuwati kitchens, put out oil well fires, and other stuff?
i hate that cheney bitch.
Posted by tom at 06:28 PM
Saddam's Blog
I swear, if he really does something to my house, I'm going to call the cops.
Posted by Mike at 12:21 PM
Hammertime
During the anticipation-building activities yesterday, a spokesperson for some government agency said during a press briefing, " When the Commander-in-Chief says 'Go', it's hammertime."
Yay us!
Posted by mccreath at 11:14 AM
March 19, 2003
hey
so hey. i've not heard anything like this before.
Posted by tom at 11:02 PM
even his own
think he's a dangerously moronic idiot.
https://www.upi.com/view.cfm?StoryID=20030319-040543-3049r
Posted by tom at 10:29 PM
Wow.
https://www.strindbergandhelium.com/
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 02:31 PM
March 18, 2003
Family Car for Mulletheads
The Trans-Am Station Wagon, an actual GM concept car.
Posted by mccreath at 05:02 PM
Another good guy bows out
The resignation speech of Robin Cook (the leader of the House of Commons) says pretty much everything I want to say when somebody starts pseudopatriotizing me about the war.
It sucks that all these people are resigning in protest, but I'm starting to think that the only way the government will change is when it's abundantly clear to the public that the only people left in it are lying, power-hungry nation killers and their unorganized, backbiting, incompetent opposition.
Posted by mccreath at 01:43 PM
It's Worth A Shot...
e-MPS allows you to opt out of national email lists.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 10:33 AM
Monday
Monday was a great day. It was sunny and warm (low 40s), I was productive at work, and our Girl Scout cookies arrived (mmm ... Samoas ... ). Then that fucking little halfwit in the White House made absolutely clear, so that there really could truly be absolutely no doubt whatsoever in any way even to the most starry-eyed optimist that he's sending troops into Iraq on the flimsiest of pretenses. It'll probably happen before the end of the week. I ate a half a box of Thin Mints just thinking about it. It doesn't seem to have helped much.
Posted by mccreath at 02:33 AM
March 14, 2003
Stooges Reuniting
Posted by mccreath at 07:05 PM
Girl I know it's you...
Posted by David L at 03:10 PM
Where'd The Cheese Go?
Ween, and their discarded songs for a Pizza Hut ad:
Where'd The Cheese Go? Part One
Where'd The Cheese Go? Part Two
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 01:28 PM
March 13, 2003
Good Color
You ever take a dump that was just such a nice rich tone that you wanted to squeeze it into little paint tubes and put it on the shelf of your local art store for someone to make a beautiful painting with?
Posted by Mike at 05:34 PM
March 12, 2003
Hee hee hee
Hoyt and I are laughing our asses off and we're not gonna tell you why.
Posted by Mike at 02:48 PM
Puppets
Guarantee that your child will grow up to be a serial killer with these happy, happy toys.
https://freespace.virgin.net/hidden.valley/11puppet.htm#puppets
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 01:07 PM
March 11, 2003
Freedom Kissing Your Sister
The restaurant menus in the three House office buildings will change the name of "french fries" to "freedom fries," a culinary rebuke of France, stemming from anger over the country's refusal to support the U.S. position on Iraq.
Posted by Mike at 03:23 PM
Don't Fuck With
Jesus!
More beautiful art available here.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 03:19 PM
Shut The Door(s),
I feel an old, boring draft.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 02:30 PM
Ooo! That'll show those frogs!
House cafeterias change names for 'french fries' and 'french toast'
I bet Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, and Rep. Walter Jones, R-North Carolina, are both just really fucking proud of their accomplishment.
In other news, France is apparently relieved to finally have their national identity dissociated from crappy American fast food and remains opposed to military action in Iraq.
Ya know, it's one thing when some diner in Bumfuck, Nowhere decides to "snub" the French by renaming a side dish, but this is just idiotic. I know it doesn't make a whit of difference, but it's kind of embarrasing that this is the best protest that our elected officials can come up with. Halfwits.
Posted by mccreath at 01:45 PM
"My relationship with sheep is a bit ambivalent now."
Flying sheep's head fractures fan's skull at Norwegian death metal concert
Posted by King at 12:30 PM
March 10, 2003
Who likes short shorts?
Man, I sure am glad basketball uniforms are bigger now. Picture Shaq in one of these little numbers.
Posted by Mike at 12:30 PM
March 07, 2003
Shut Up
little man!!!
Truly one of the most enjoyable, disturbing CD's I own. I had forgotten all about Peter and Raymond until a week or so ago when I replayed them and comically frightened myself all over again. It's a must listen, and the kids all say it's great to dance to!!!
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 12:26 PM
When irony becomes prescience
Stumbled on this article at The Onion. It's from January 18, 2001. The headline reads:
Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over'
Posted by mccreath at 11:54 AM
March 06, 2003
This wouldn't happen in Germany
Yahoo! News - Mall Wants to Drop Peace T-Shirt Charges
Stephen Downs, 61, and his son were stopped Monday by mall security guards and asked to remove their shirts that read "Peace on Earth" and "Give Peace a Chance," or leave.
Posted by Mike at 11:42 AM
Corporate Femmes
I just saw a Virgin Mobile commercial using the Femmes "Please Do Not Go."
Posted by Mike at 12:25 AM
March 05, 2003
Home Of The Free My Ass
Pay attention kids. This is happening in Germany. Meanwhile in our country we are advocating "patriotic unity" and speaking about the Homeland.
I know that everytime there's a political shitstorm some stupid hippie from Berkeley makes the typical "Bush/Reagan/Cheney/Affleck is Hitler" statement but damn they're making it easy.
Did anyone notice the INS was 'merged' with Homeland Security this week? Slogan: "One face at the border." I shit you not. 49 cent visa menu.
Quiz: In which country is an unelected leader (who was helped to power by a relative in a remote province) steering money away from education, infrastructure and science in order to build an army of international conquest, while establishing new departments of gov't of questionable constitutional legality, and cutting ties with international bodies such as the UN and NATO? I'll take 'rogue nations' for 500 Alex.
Grrrrrrrrrr.
Posted by Mike at 06:02 PM
I'm pretty bored right now
Posted by Mike at 01:41 PM
Excellent behavior by elected officials
2 Washington State Lawmakers Walk Out on Prayer
OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) -- Two lawmakers left the floor of the Washington House of Representatives during a prayer by a Muslim religious leader this week, citing patriotism and a lack of interest.
Fucking unbelievable.
Posted by mccreath at 12:51 PM
March 04, 2003
Sexpot
or Despot?
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 11:50 AM
Enough Already!!!
Make it stop!!!
Madonna is fast becoming the most annoying attention seeking missle on the radar. Is there anything she won't try to keep her name in the press? Maybe she'll have a reality show soon and come full circle...
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 09:36 AM
um
i said, i made an 'A' on a calculus exam. and in biology. and in chemistry.
jeez. say congrats or make fun of it or something.
Posted by tom at 07:46 AM
Let Their Minds Be Blown
I have a story that none of you will believe, but it’s absolutely true. Lorn said she’d like to call a town meeting so I could tell the story live and she could watch all your faces drop. This tale will distort your preconceived notions of reality to the breaking point. So let’s begin…
In 1975 a single was released into the unsuspecting pop music world that simultaneously tapped into an underground “grass-roots” movement, and single-handedly created a national craze. The movement/craze: CB radio and trucking; the song: Convoy. This song, recorded by C.W. McCall, was on his second album, Black Bear Road, and briefly propelled him into the American spotlight. McCall never hit the number 1 spot again, though he recorded several more lps. But who was/is he?
C.W. McCall was a character created by an advertising man named Bill Fries, who was working in radio, writing jingles in Omaha in the early 1970s. For one client, a local bakery, he penned a corny, novelty jingle called “The Old Home Filler-Up An’ Keep On Truckin’ Cafe”. This commercial became so popular that the local paper actually ran the broadcast times for the ad! Fries and his jingle-writing partner Chip Davis parlayed this regional popularity into an album (on MGM) called Wolf Creek Pass, in 1974. This and subsequent albums were performed by Fries, Davis, and what were probably some session men, and these sessioners played in the live touring band as well
Fast-forward into the early 1980s, long after the success of Convoy has dried up. Fries quits the music biz and moves to Colorado, and becomes seriously involved in environmental concerns; was even the mayor of Boulder. Meanwhile, Chip Davis, a tech-nerd and audiophile, is experimenting with his own sound, which he records himself and uses to demonstrate audio fidelity equipment. When he tried to sell his album, “Fresh Aire”, to the music labels, they balked, so he created his own label, American Gramaphone. (The McCall records used the AG moniker as their publishing company.) He then created a name for the “band” – largely himself and a few of the McCall session men; Manheim Steamroller. They sold a few records, but their 1984 Christmas album, with its single of Deck the Halls, was a huge hit, and the rest is New Age Music history.
The “band” of session dudes literally became the recording and touring entity Manheim Steamroller. So, essentially, CW McCall became Manheim Steamroller. And the CB Radio/Truckin’ craze became the New Age movement.
A friend of mine who heard an interview with one of them (he didn’t know which one- Fries, Davis, maybe even Jackson Berkley, the keyboard player on all the McCall & Steamroller records) told me they would play their own music (Steamroller music?) before CW McCall came out, and nobody in the audience knew it was the same band in both sets.
In no way does this story make me like CW McCall records any less, in fact I like them a little more! The McCall records are funny, goofy, in a similar way to Roger Miller or Lee Hazlewood, but even on the first lp Fries’ concern for the environment comes out. He writes about pollution in the air, the rivers, the canyons, forests. And the rebellion and anti-authoritarianism of Convoy is totally real, perfectly dovetailing into trucker/redneck/outlaw country sensibility. The prankish element is hilarious, and the end of the story blows my mind. It almost makes me wanna give another listen to Manheim Steamroller...almost.
Let them truckers roll, 10 – 4.
Posted by Lang Squal at 12:37 AM
March 03, 2003
Fine drinking
Bum Wines is a thorough and exhaustive investigation into five of the major players in the sub-$5 wine category. It's inspirational.
Hoyt! Crack open them sausages!
Posted by mccreath at 11:48 AM
"He said it was just a symbolic ritual and bones were not actually eaten."
Screw those boring "Girls Gone Wild" videos, I wanna see "Religions Gone Wild"!
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/2815073.stm
Posted by Lang Squal at 09:40 AM
Words of Interest
This thing is floating around in emails, so y'all may have already got it, but here it is anyway. The question is, is it the real words of Kiesling, or did someone in the world of the internet punch it up to suit their interests? Either way, it is worth reading..
Also, here's a link https://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/02/27/sprj.irq.diplomat.resignation/index.html
U.S. Diplomat's Letter of Resignation
The following is the text of John Brady Kiesling's letter of
resignation to Secretary of State Colin L. Powell. Mr. Kiesling is a
career diplomat who has served in United States embassies from Tel
Aviv to Casablanca to Yerevan. He appears on the US Embassy in Greece
website as political counselor
to the embassy.
Dear Mr. Secretary:
I am writing you to submit my resignation from the Foreign Service of
the United States and from my position as Political Counselor in U.S.
Embassy Athens, effective March 7. I do so with a heavy heart. The
baggage of my upbringing included a felt obligation to give something
back to my country. Service as a U.S. diplomat was a dream job. I was
paid to understand foreign languages and cultures, to seek out
diplomats, politicians, scholars and journalists, and to persuade
them that U.S. interests and theirs fundamentally coincided. My faith
in my country and its values was the most powerful weapon in my
diplomatic arsenal.
It is inevitable that during twenty years with the State Department I
would become more sophisticated and cynical about the narrow and
selfish bureaucratic motives that sometimes shaped our policies.
Human nature is what it is, and I was rewarded and promoted for
understanding human nature. But until this Administration it had been
possible to believe that by upholding the policies of my president I
was also upholding the interests of the American people and the
world. I believe it no longer.
The policies we are now asked to advance are incompatible not only
with American values but also with American interests. Our fervent
pursuit of war with Iraq is driving us to squander the international
legitimacy that has been America's most potent weapon of both offense
and defense since the days of Woodrow Wilson. We have begun to
dismantle the largest and most effective web of international
relationships the world has ever known. Our current course will bring
instability and danger, not security.
The sacrifice of global interests to domestic politics and to
bureaucratic self-interest is nothing new, and it is certainly not a
uniquely American problem. Still, we have not seen such systematic
distortion of intelligence, such systematic manipulation of American
opinion, since the war in Vietnam. The September 11 tragedy left us
stronger than before, rallying around us a vast international
coalition to cooperate for the first time in a systematic way against
the threat of terrorism. But rather than take credit for those
successes and build on them, this Administration has chosen to make
terrorism a domestic political tool, enlisting a scattered and
largely defeated Al Qaeda as its bureaucratic ally. We spread
disproportionate terror and confusion in the public mind, arbitrarily
linking the unrelated problems of terrorism and Iraq. The result, and
perhaps the motive, is to justify a vast misallocation of shrinking
public wealth to the military and to weaken the safeguards that
protect American citizens from the heavy hand of government.
September 11 did not do as much damage to the fabric of American
society as we seem determined to so to ourselves. Is the Russia of
the late Romanovs really our model, a selfish, superstitious empire
thrashing toward self-destruction in the name of a doomed status quo?
We should ask ourselves why we have failed to persuade more of the
world that a war with Iraq is necessary. We have over the past two
years done too much to assert to our world partners that narrow and
mercenary U.S. interests override the cherished values of our
partners. Even where our aims were not in question, our consistency
is at issue. The model of Afghanistan is little comfort to allies
wondering on what basis we plan to rebuild the Middle East, and in
whose image and interests. Have we indeed become blind, as Russia is
blind in Chechnya, as Israel is blind in the Occupied Territories, to
our own advice, that overwhelming military power is not the answer to
terrorism? After the shambles of post-war Iraq joins the shambles in
Grozny and Ramallah, it will be a brave foreigner who forms ranks
with Micronesia to follow where we lead.
We have a coalition still, a good one. The loyalty of many of our
friends is impressive, a tribute to American moral capital built up
over a century. But our closest allies are persuaded less that war is
justified than that it would be perilous to allow the U.S. to drift
into complete solipsism. Loyalty should be reciprocal. Why does our
President condone the swaggering and contemptuous approach to our
friends and allies this Administration is fostering, including among
its most senior officials. Has "oderint dum metuant" really become
our motto?
I urge you to listen to America's friends around the world. Even here
in Greece, purported hotbed of European anti-Americanism, we have
more and closer friends than the American newspaper reader can
possibly imagine. Even when they complain about American arrogance,
Greeks know that the world is a difficult and dangerous place, and
they want a strong international system, with the U.S. and EU in
close partnership. When our friends are afraid of us rather than for
us, it is time to worry. And now they are afraid. Who will tell them
convincingly that the United States is as it was, a beacon of
liberty, security, and justice for the planet?
Mr. Secretary, I have enormous respect for your character and
ability. You have preserved more international credibility for us
than our policy deserves, and salvaged something positive from the
excesses of an ideological and self-serving Administration. But your
loyalty to the President goes too far. We are straining beyond its
limits an international system we built with such toil and treasure,
a web of laws, treaties, organizations, and shared values that sets
limits on our foes far more effectively than it ever constrained
America's ability to defend its interests.
I am resigning because I have tried and failed to reconcile my
conscience with my ability to represent the current U.S.
Administration. I have confidence that our democratic process is
ultimately self-correcting, and hope that in a small way I can
contribute from outside to shaping policies that better serve the
security and prosperity of the American people and the world we share.
Posted by Lang Squal at 09:21 AM