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April 30, 2004
419 Eaters
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419 Scams are those annoying e-mails that you get, usually from someone's widow in Nigeria, asking for money under some pretense of eventually getting a share of the x-dictator's x-wife's fortune.
This guy writes back to them, sometimes posing as a business man, sometimes as clergy, and baits them into sending him photos of themselves as proof of their legitimacy, under the pretense of sending them the cash they asked for.
And so they don't just send a random posed photo, he asks them to prove their identity by following very specific instructions on how to pose for their photo; such as "pose with a large loaf of bread on your head" or "hold up a sign with my name, Phil Mycrackin, on it."
Posted by Mike at 07:39 PM | Comments (1)
11 Hard Questions For Bush
"1) Mr. President, if a train leaves San Francisco at 10 am carrying 1,000 happily gay happily married couples and travels at 85 mph for three hours, while at the very same moment a train departs Crawford, Texas, loaded with 2,000 vaguely miserable Christian fundamentalists and nail-wearing fanatics of "The Passion of the Christ" and travels in exactly the opposite direction at 65 mph for the same amount of time, at what point will almost every single fundamentalist secretly wish s/he could be the towel boy for the hot-tub parties on the other train?"
Great Mark Morford article.
Posted by Mike at 01:09 PM | Comments (0)
April 29, 2004
Take what you need and pass the rest around.
DJ, if there's any left you can go twice.
Posted by Lang Squal at 08:13 PM | Comments (0)
Another Victim Of
photoshop.... (SFW link)
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)
April 28, 2004
Which Carnie Are You?
https://www.monkeybard.com/whichcarnie.cgi
My results:
Madame Baltzar's crystal ball sees the future clearly. You are...
Koko "Scary the Clown" the Killer Clown
You, sir, are the scariest carnie of all. Witness your nickname and your given name. You were raised in a clowning family best known for their amazing squirting flower act in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, but you felt their acts lacked a certain je nais se quois. Plus, you got tired of being stuffed in that teeny clown car. That, in fact, is what first drove you to murder. You were released from the circus after an unfortunate strangling of one of your siblings with an extraordinarily long handkerchief - you'd been stuck in the little car for just a wee bit too long. But a clown without a circus is a lonely clown, and despite your antisocial tendencies, you quickly hooked up with a small carnival in south Florida. You're an inveterate carnie, as you keep killing your fellow carnies and have to move on to new carnivals. There was that one agent you whacked with a comical giant hammer that was a little heavier than the standard clown hammer, and the other one who tried to sniff your squirting flower and got a snootful of lye. But the carnivals keep hiring you, because everyone knows that clowns are really very scary, and carnival owners appreciate your honesty. You'll never be on the up-and-up, but if you could just keep from smacking the little kids with your big honking clown shoes (it sometimes maims, even if it doesn't kill), you may just be able to hold down a job for a little while.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 10:15 AM | Comments (2)
this came in an email from my mom.. enjoy
"Now that is what I call a SPIDER!!
From someone stationed in Baghdad. He was recently bitten by a camel spider
which was hiding in his sleeping bag. I thought you'd like to see what a
camel spider looks like. It'll give you a better idea of what our troops
are dealing with. Enclosed is a picture of his friend holding up two
spiders."
Posted by Lang Squal at 05:36 AM | Comments (10)
April 27, 2004
SIZE 12 WEDDING DRESS/GOWN NO RESERVE
I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it."
Posted by Mike at 03:37 PM | Comments (1)
Loretta and Jack
Anyone heard any cuts from the new Loretta Lynn/Jack White record? Opinions if so?
I've heard two songs so far, the jury is still out. I haven't warmed to it like the Johnny Cash/Rick Rubin collaborations, but then again, I'm not a big fan of Jack White, either. Sounds like Loretta singing over Jack's ego. I need to a) listen to more of it, and b) just be glad Miss Loretta is still puttin' out records.
Oh, and hearing it on something other than my 2'' speaker clock radio at work might help some, too.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 07:24 AM | Comments (3)
Posted by Lang Squal at 12:24 AM | Comments (3)
April 26, 2004
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Posted by Mike at 08:53 AM | Comments (3)
April 24, 2004
how to catch your dreams...
Information offered up by F.B.Pan...
How to make Slim's Dream Catcher
Be sure to read all of the instructions before
beginning your dream catcher:
Form a circle with a twisted paper strip about five
inches (12.7cm) in diameter.
Carefully remove all the screws from a Sony DAT
machine. Rack mounted is preferable to walkman-type.
Look carefully for rubber drive bands inside the
machine. Carefully remove them from the pulleys and
twist each drive band into a figure of 8 before
replacing them on the pulleys. This will make it run
backwards.
Use a copper pony bead to represent the Spider Mother
who heads the buffalo herd. This goes in the part of
the machine that looks like a spider's web. Replace
all the screws.
Decorate the "dream catcher" with personal mementoes
and plug it in.
Put a fully played DAT tape in the machine every night
at bedtime - be sure it is fully wound to the end -
remember the player is running backwards to record
your dreams, so it has to be fully wound or else it
will jam.
Hang the dream catcher from your twin cot.
Press "Record" and then "Play".
Remember the dream catcher is not a toy! Be careful
not to bang your head on the dream catcher when you
wake up. Also be careful not to tear the twisted paper
circle or the dream catcher will not work.
Posted by David L at 12:31 AM | Comments (0)
April 23, 2004
Buy shit
I made a place to sell shirts and shit. Hoping to add a new item every month.
Please enjoy spending your money there.
Posted by Mike at 03:20 PM | Comments (0)
April 22, 2004
Not in my job description
This was in my email when I came to work last night. It was written by last nights shifty [the names have been changed to protect the innocent.]
So......to start this is not a joke.
At about 9:30 or so on the Wednesday night [Security officer] alerted me that there
was a S.W.A.T. team outside the store. She informed me that they had
someone in the store with a high powered rifle. He was looking for a man
that they believed was in store who was armed with a bomb. They planned
to shoot him down. We were told that we would have to evacuate the store
if the situation escalated in a manner where we would be able to do so
(although I have no idea how this would be done).
The officer found saw somebody who fit the description and went outside
the store to confer with his team. He came back in to follow the man and
planned to apprehend him when he left the store if possible. He
instructed [Security Officer] and myself to not make eye contact with the man, so
we walked around and pretended to act natural. The man finally paid for
his groceries and went to the parking lot where he was apprehended by
the main officer. The customer was searched and released.
The officer came back in and told me that there has been bomb threats to
the consulate accross the street from us (at 1000 California) and that
they had caught somebody before trying to bomb the building. They felt
that since the parking garage at 1000 California was locked that he was
in our store.
The officer wanted me to inform our security and our leadership that in
the event of a large police prescence accross the street, to be on the
lookout for a Vietnamese or Chinese male about 5'5, and to contact the
police if we see anything suspicious.
So yeah.....that sucked.
So [Security Officer] just called me while I am typing this and said that the
officer returned to the store to tell us that the caught the person that
they were looking for. I'll have his badge number and his card if you
have any further questions about this. So I guess that whole a bit about
keeping a lookout doesn't matter but I don't have the energy to edit the
email.
Feel free to call me if you have any questionsor pressing
concerns......but I'll be in anyhow tomorrow to do an ecolab order.
The officer's name is [Officer Wiggims] with the SF SWAT team.
[Shifty]
Posted by David L at 10:47 AM | Comments (6)
April 21, 2004
Items of absolutely no interest to anyone
I love, LOVE, the smell of shoe polish. Many has been the day when I will sit at the phone desk @ work, answering phones and sniffing shoe polish. I just sniffed some in the gift shop. Damn i love that. I also love certain rubber smells. The other day i was in the store and bought a plunger, because, you know, they moment i need one and dont have one, well, I would become upset. {DJ knows all about that, right DJ?} So anyway, the plunger is a thick black rubber thing, and damn if i dont have a little crush on it. I smelled that thing all the way home in the car - we all would like to see a film of that!- and because i havent used it yet for its intended purposes, i keep running into the br and huffing a snootfull of the black rubber. Hell maybe i need to buy one to use, and one to appreciate for its beauty and smell. Wait, I just thought of another use for it....so now i guess i need to buy TWO more
Unrelatedly, i also have a new second email address. I no longer use stickylegba@hellokitty.com because it was getting about 63 porn spams a day {thanks McICE!} so i decided to just abandon it. My new secret email address is
YOU MUST GO TO THE LOUNGE TO RETRIEVE THIS TOP SECKRET INFOTAINMENT.
Thank you Hurst/Euless/Bedford, GOOD NIGHT!
Posted by Lang Squal at 09:19 PM | Comments (3)
Mike and Dave at home
Posted by Lang Squal at 04:33 PM | Comments (8)
Assembled ladies of the court,
please help me. Previously, when I have downloaded from limewire & acquisition, the completed mp3 file would automaticlly load into ITunes; now for some reason it doesn't. I have been all over the PREFERENCES for Itunes, and lw and acq, but can find no remedy.
HELP!
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:27 PM | Comments (12)
The Jesus Christ
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 01:14 PM | Comments (1)
The Slack Album
"The Slack Album is a mostly tongue-in-cheek project fusing Jay-Z's The Black Album to Pavement's classic lo-fi album Slanted and Enchanted, combining the songs track-by-track in order of the original album sequences."
Enjoy.
Posted by Mike at 10:34 AM | Comments (0)
April 20, 2004
Nil
Today sucked eggs. Why?
Posted by Mike at 07:03 PM | Comments (2)
Hello?
Anybody home?.......
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 12:35 PM | Comments (7)
April 14, 2004
Buy Em Quick!
The longtime owner of the Music Valley Wax Museum of the Stars has put all 55 figures from his collection — from Roy Acuff to Conway Twitty — on sale on the Internet auction site eBay.
John A. Hobbs was quoted as saying, ''I hope somebody will buy the whole collection and put it somewhere that appreciates country music more than Nashville does these days,.... except for these fuckers, that is. I'm gonna leave 'em outside to melt."
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 02:42 PM | Comments (0)
April 09, 2004
For sticky's new life ...
So You'd Like to be an Old School Goth!
A handy guide at Amazon.
Posted by mccreath at 06:57 PM | Comments (0)
Cheap Music!
I had no idea Matador was doing this. There's som really good stuff in here for $8-$10 a disc.
Posted by mccreath at 06:25 PM | Comments (0)
April 08, 2004
Ashcroft mosaic
From here.
Posted by mccreath at 09:58 PM | Comments (0)
Ok I'm impressed..
https://www.pawel.wojcik.com/dziewczyny/default.html
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:08 PM | Comments (2)
Bang Your Head
Em sent me this link, it's 2 of Nickelback's songs played at the same time out of two different channels.
And here's what Portugal thinks of Nickelback.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 12:14 PM | Comments (2)
April 07, 2004
God I love the web sometimes
Tracey sent me this. Her co-worker found it as a result of mistyping a URL.
Posted by Mike at 02:16 PM | Comments (1)
Get Ready to go "awwww"
Posted by Mike at 12:53 PM | Comments (1)
A mosaic of soldiers who have died in Iraq:
Posted by Mike at 12:51 PM | Comments (3)
April 06, 2004
Music Request
I was dowloading a bunch of Daniel Johnston today and was wondering if anybody here might have a copy of that CD of Daniel covers that Kathy McCarty did, Dead Dog's Eyeball. If you do can you let me know.
Posted by Mike at 01:00 PM | Comments (4)
April 05, 2004
Feel the ancient love
Posted by mccreath at 04:51 PM | Comments (4)
Hey, Sticky
How's your web? Maybe it needs a HeadacheGlove
Posted by mccreath at 12:53 PM | Comments (0)
Dorky Cornpewter Question
Can anyone recommend a good training class for Mac/Apple support? I'm interested in anything; on-site, on line, etc. Basically, I'm looking for some decent first level support training, current platforms to probably 2 or so years back. Any thoughts would be helpfuller than shit. Thanky kindly.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 11:12 AM | Comments (3)
April 02, 2004
Dave L
Posted by Mike at 03:34 PM | Comments (0)
Looks like I left Dallas just in time...
this made me laugh out loud!
https://edition.cnn.com/2004/US/Southwest/04/01/odd.us.sewage.over.ap/index.html
The force of the flow launched at least eight manholes skyward, geysers of sewage rose more than a meter high, and part of a golf course and a park were closed.
"Take the worst thing you've ever smelled and multiply it by 10," said golfer Len Stahly, 71.
Posted by Lang Squal at 12:26 PM | Comments (1)
Dave L & Ferrara
I'm still looking for suitable portraits, anybody else got some for these two lovebirds?
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:38 AM | Comments (1)
Tom K
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)
Dave & Phil
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)
King
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)
Mike
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:33 AM | Comments (1)
DJ & Emily
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:32 AM | Comments (2)
April 01, 2004
Delicious
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 10:36 AM | Comments (0)