Geriatric Punks

Which Carnie Are You?

posted by Krayon Scribbel on April 28, 2004

https://www.monkeybard.com/whichcarnie.cgi

My results:

Madame Baltzar's crystal ball sees the future clearly. You are...
Koko "Scary the Clown" the Killer Clown
You, sir, are the scariest carnie of all. Witness your nickname and your given name. You were raised in a clowning family best known for their amazing squirting flower act in the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, but you felt their acts lacked a certain je nais se quois. Plus, you got tired of being stuffed in that teeny clown car. That, in fact, is what first drove you to murder. You were released from the circus after an unfortunate strangling of one of your siblings with an extraordinarily long handkerchief - you'd been stuck in the little car for just a wee bit too long. But a clown without a circus is a lonely clown, and despite your antisocial tendencies, you quickly hooked up with a small carnival in south Florida. You're an inveterate carnie, as you keep killing your fellow carnies and have to move on to new carnivals. There was that one agent you whacked with a comical giant hammer that was a little heavier than the standard clown hammer, and the other one who tried to sniff your squirting flower and got a snootful of lye. But the carnivals keep hiring you, because everyone knows that clowns are really very scary, and carnival owners appreciate your honesty. You'll never be on the up-and-up, but if you could just keep from smacking the little kids with your big honking clown shoes (it sometimes maims, even if it doesn't kill), you may just be able to hold down a job for a little while.