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Ask Dr. Septic!

posted by Lang'uid Squal'or, a student of the transexual art on June 12, 2004

Dear Dr. Septic,

Like any other redblooded American, I love sniffing black shoe polish. Recently however, the key broke off my beloved can of Kiwi, so I am forced to keep the can slightly open so that I can stick my nose in it easilu. Will this dry it out?

Also, the black rubber plunger I keep by the bed to huff is starting to smell a little fishy. How do you account for that?

Awaiting your wisdom
Average Joe

Comments

Funny. Like the first time you told it. Maybe a little less.

Yeah, less. A little.

Posted by: Dick Septic at June 12, 2004 08:49 PM

listen bitch, im not playing for laughs like you and dennis miller do, i'm out there asking for help and advice!

I KNEW i should have called this column Ask Dr. Skribbel!!

Posted by: lang at June 12, 2004 09:01 PM

Dear Average Joe,
Feel free to leave the can ajar. If your beloved show polish starts to dry out, simply light it with a match to rejuvenate it. This will add to the excitement of huffing, and the pyromaniac in you will get to have some fun as well. Keep the cover handy to extinguish it, polish lights quick!
As far as the plunger goes, man up and buy a new one.
Sincerely,
Dr. Scribbel, Crack Addict

Posted by: Krayon Scribbel, MD at June 14, 2004 11:54 AM

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