« May 2004 | Main | July 2004 »
June 30, 2004
Slick Blog
Former President Bill Clinton has graciously started a Blog to take up where his memoirs finish.
"What happened was this. Robin put Mariah Carey's CD in the CD player, took the remote control, told the women me and him were going to get some wine and we went into the kitchen.
In the kitchen we took off all our clothes except for our boxer shorts and socks. We put on ties and sunglasses. We both had one of those plastic microphones kids play with in our hands. Robin pushed the play button on the remote control and Mariah Carey started singing.
Me and him went into the living room and stood in front of the women. We did this whole dance routine as Mariah Carey sang "Oh, when you walk by every night, Talking sweet and looking fine, I get kinda hectic inside...."
We must've looked like two drunken sailors. Oh God, what was I thinking? That's the kind of influence Robin has on me and all his friends. The guy is crazy, but he also manages to make us lose our minds."
Posted by David L at 01:12 AM | Comments (2)
June 29, 2004
Potpourri
Just a few images from the day's browsing ...
Posted by mccreath at 08:05 PM | Comments (1)
Dental High
I have a new dentist. He's very California. The entire office tells you what a great patient you are every five minutes. They always ask you if you brought music to listen to and push the nitrous like nitrous likes to be pushed.
"You're a great patient! Let me know if you need me to adjust the gas in either direction."
"I can't hear you. I'm listening to Pink really loudly and I'm REALLY high."
"OK. Just let me know if you need anything."
"Can you give the nitrous a little bump?"
"Sure. You're a great patient."
"Yeah. I'm feeling the love."
Today's dental visit consisted of getting three cavities filled, and being asked if I wanted to pull a wisdom tooth 'while we were all up in there.' At which point I was soooo high he could have pulled it and inserted it up my ass and I woulda been fine with it.
I made a major dental decision while high. I'm a great patient.
Posted by Mike at 02:56 PM | Comments (3)
June 28, 2004
There Lurks a Great Evil ...
Abadon hope, all ye who enter here.
Posted by mccreath at 03:10 PM | Comments (4)
Happy Birthday Kong!
YAY Kong, have a happy birthday! In ye olden dayes, I'd have posted a she-male for your day, but in these lean economic times all I can offer you is scattered thunderstorms
Hope you enjoy them!
Posted by Lang Squal at 09:15 AM | Comments (3)
June 26, 2004
These are annoying times
"You don't support Democrats.
Posted by King at 11:53 AM | Comments (0)
June 23, 2004
No No No No No
This creeps the holy living fuck out of me.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 10:51 AM | Comments (2)
June 18, 2004
Dance Travis, Dance!!
I believe his name is Travis, and travis looooooooves to dance.
Posted by Mike at 06:39 PM | Comments (1)
June 16, 2004
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:40 PM | Comments (0)
June 15, 2004
Can't Sleep Theatre presents: Uploaded Song of the Week:
Theme from The Night Gallery
Download file
(not an mp3 but a m4a, whatever that means. i downloaded it from limewire & burned it to disc, hope you can do the same if you care to)
It's just 39 seconds long, perfect for finishing a tape or cd. I didn't do my "homework" to research who "composed" the music, I bet Fererra knows.
Actually it's not the track i wanted to upload; that being a special* version of Unclean by Psychic TV. However, timed at 12:34, the system told me it was too large to upload, so I picked something less large.
*special because the song, which i burned from vinyl, was meant to be played at 45. i burned it at 33, and it makes it murkier, weirder, slower, just like all of us. If you want this I'd be glad to email it, if it's not too large a file for my puny hellokitty to hoist over. lemme know..
yours in the late night hours,
lang' squal'
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:07 AM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2004
Mad Monk Cock
"Measuring 28.5 centimeters (about 11 inches) -- allowing for shrinkage caused by pickling -- Rasputin's penis displayed in a tall glass bottle is, to put it delicately, a big attraction at the museum."
Allowing for shrinkage?!?
Posted by Mike at 08:46 PM | Comments (0)
Ask Dr. Septic!
Dear Dr. Septic,
Like any other redblooded American, I love sniffing black shoe polish. Recently however, the key broke off my beloved can of Kiwi, so I am forced to keep the can slightly open so that I can stick my nose in it easilu. Will this dry it out?
Also, the black rubber plunger I keep by the bed to huff is starting to smell a little fishy. How do you account for that?
Awaiting your wisdom
Average Joe
Posted by Lang Squal at 01:31 AM | Comments (3)
June 11, 2004
I just watched Reagan's funeral live on Cspan
and it was an awesome spectacle. Cspan broadcast uninterrupted, without voice over, until 11pm CST.
All of Holloywood's hottest stars were, paying their respects to Dutch. Of course Governor Schwartzenegger was there, with his previoulsy democrat wife Maria Shriver. But get this, so were Hollloywood greats like Scott Baio, Tom Selleck and Pat Sejack. Greats from the world of sports were there to say goodbye, including pint-sized, balding figure-skater Scott Hamilton.
But the ultimates in celebrety mourners, for me, were the legendary Wayne Newton, with his psychedlically weird black pompadour, and, best of all, fuckin Mickey Rooney was there, with his giant 90th wife, herself about 65. It looked like they had their driver walk down the honorable mourner's walk with them, i'm sure he was counting the minutes till he could hit the bars on the strip.
After the neo-celebreties, a whole parade of old coots with trophy wives, and even afew old bitties with trophy husbands, wheeled by to give the Gipper a thumbs up or a solemn salute, fully aware of the cameras broadcasting their images over international tv. hell when Nancy was grieving on the casket, her most private moment in her life being seen all over the world, the cameras were snapping so loud it sounded like a fuckin typing pool on the gravesite. this after their long-time minister spent about 10 minutes trying to insinuate himself into the Reagan Legacy on live tv, sickening.
Anyway, you know CSpan will rerun this shit a couple times, so I recommend a few margaritas before hand, or during, and sit back and watch the beautiful California sunset, as it get slowly eclipsed by the tv lights..
Posted by Lang Squal at 11:41 PM | Comments (1)
Anne Frank's Blog
Anyway, I figure that there might be some good in turning in my father... yeah, I might get caught, but at least I can go on the Auschwitz diet. I could lose so much weight and finally be trim and sexy! I'll post more on this diet later.
Posted by Mike at 06:30 PM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2004
New Design Feature?
Hey McF,
Can you imbed this in the GPunx page somewhere? I love to keep tabs on my assets.
Posted by David L at 04:02 PM | Comments (2)
Damn.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 03:19 PM | Comments (1)
My Candidates for '04
Posted by mccreath at 11:52 AM | Comments (4)
Outer-Space Station
In 1978, Woman's Day magazine published directions for building an The Outer-Space Station scaled to fit the first series of Star Wars figures.
Fathers, download the instructions and get ready to be a hero this Christmas. Or just look at the pictures and think about how cool it would have been to have yourself.
Posted by mccreath at 11:18 AM | Comments (1)
June 09, 2004
A cute li'l critter ...
I found this on a Russian web page ...
According to Babelfish, the text on the page said this:
no, in the photograph completely not sharp-toothed X...;.
this is naked digger. Beast of such.
the relative of porcupine, by the way, although into this it believes with difficulty. It dwells in to East Africa. Animal gregarious: it lives in the colonies on 20-200 copies.
A even more naked digger is sufficiently indifferent to the pain, at least to the the big enough to portion of numerous is specific pain. Some substance- messenger it does not have in organism.
Therefore it love to torture evil biologists. On the whole, become acquainted, who does not know
:)
Posted by mccreath at 07:57 PM | Comments (5)
Ghetto Fabulous
Photo of the year:
this came in #2:
Posted by Mike at 01:05 PM | Comments (3)
Buy It Now
Sure to be a family heirloom, it is.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 11:14 AM | Comments (3)
June 08, 2004
Awesome Power!
The Fighting Techniques of Donald Rumsfeld
Posted by mccreath at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)
Beatallica
Beatles and Metallica together. Finally.
Posted by Mike at 11:42 AM | Comments (0)
The Reagan I remember
I'm pretty fed up with the lovefest happening over Reagan. It would be one thing if there were equal parts "Reagan was America's greatest president" and "Reagan was a lying, manipulative, egotistical ninny", but the mainstream press has just been masturbating over his corpse like a 12 year old with a brand new Victoria's Secret catalog. Even NPR is just going on and on and on about his fabulous legacy.
Does anyone really believe that the Soviet Union wouldn't have collapsed without Reagan? The man who worked tirelessly to prop up (or undermine, depending on ... what ... his mood? Nancy's constipation?) petty dictators is increasingly credited with having single-handedly brought about the demise of the "Evil Empire".
I did finally see one man on The McNeil News Hour last night make reference to Reagan's "welfare queens and their Cadillacs" comment, as well as the ridiculous ideas behind "trickle-down" economics.
So here are some links I found this morning that made me feel better.
- Not Even a Hedgehog - The stupidity of Ronald Reagan. By Christopher Hitchens
- The Nature of Ronald Reagan: Will the Earth Accept His Corpse?
- The Real Legacy of Ronald Reagan
- Tipsheet: Reflections on Ronald Reagan
If you find any others, post them here. We can build a nice archive of the Reagan of our youth.
Posted by mccreath at 11:04 AM | Comments (4)
June 06, 2004
Grocer
Good Morning.
Posted by David L at 10:32 AM | Comments (6)
June 05, 2004
Fucking USA!
The music sounds like it's from a radio jingle for a local Honda dealership, but damn, this is the coolest propaganda song ever.
Posted by King at 01:55 PM | Comments (5)
June 04, 2004
In other news ...
Creed Break Up. Rejoice, my brethren and sistren. Po' a little. Po' it right on the grave of lukewarm, over-earnest, tired-like-a-yuppie Christian-esque power ballads and then dance a little jig.
Posted by mccreath at 05:15 PM | Comments (3)
Two Site Newses
- Everybody post a quick entry in the Lounge to introduce yourself to Ferrara Brain Pan, our newest punk. He's been a frequent poster here, is a co-worker of Davel and an afficionado of musique bizzare.
- Shamed and inspired by the shiny and ascerbic new version of glassdog, I've gotten back to work on Dick's new design for our site. There's a functioning page here (meaning that it's showing live updates for the blog).
For the new version of the site, there will be two additional blogs added to everyone's menus: one for the book reviews and one for the record reviews. The current new design page says "Record of the Week", but I want to change that to something less time-specific so that anyone can post a review anytime they want. What will show on the main page of GerPunx is a list of the last 5 or 10 reviews, with the most recent displaying the thumbnail of the cover. "Dohprah's Book Club" will function the same way.
My plan is to get the GerPunx part finished up this weekend and then get to work on the music and book things. More news as it happens.
Posted by mccreath at 01:03 PM | Comments (8)
June 03, 2004
Ow.
The pain. The unspeakable pain.
Posted by Krayon Scribbel at 08:12 PM | Comments (2)