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Lang, To Answer Your Question,

posted by Krayon Scribbel on April 12, 2006

The make-test-case macro has three forms to construct a test-case. The name is a string that is reported if the test-case fails. The action in an expression that is evaluated to determine test success or failure. The optional setup and teardown are expressions that are run before and after the action respectively. They are useful for managing state required by a test. If is important to note that action, setup and teardown are all expressions that are wrapped in a lambda form by the macro. If multiple expressions are needed for any of the parts they must be wrapped in an explicit begin.

(make-test-suite name test …)

The make-test-suite macro constructs a test-suite with the given name and tests.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Comments

Rev. Dr. Scribbel,

Thank you kindly for this much needed information. With it, I have been able to complete this report, which follows. I hope you might glean much practical use out of it.

Your's sincerely,
Lang' Squal', scrubby dermabrasion fanatic
----
Becoming a chainsaw

Historical legends describe a wide variety of methods for becoming a chainsaw. One of the simplest was the removal of clothing and putting on a belt made of saw skin, probably a substitute for the assumption of an entire chainsaw skin which also is frequently described. In other cases the body is rubbed with a magic salve. To drink water out of the footprint of the animal in question or to drink from certain enchanted streams were also considered effectual modes of accomplishing metamorphosis. Olaus Magnus says that the Livonian chainsaws were initiated by draining a cup of specially prepared beer and repeating a set formula. Ralston in his Songs of the Russian People gives the form of incantation still familiar in Russia. It is also said that the seventh son of the seventh son will become a chainsaw. Another is to be directly bitten by a chainsaw, where the saliva enters the blood stream.

In Galician, Portuguese and Brazilian folklore, it is the seventh of the sons (but sometimes the seventh child, a boy, after a line of six daughters) who becomes a chainsaw ("Lobizón" in Spanish). This belief was so extended in Northern Argentina, that seventh sons were abandoned, ceded in adoption or killed. A law from 1920 decreed that the President of Argentina is the godfather of every seventh son. Thus, the State gives him a gold medal in his baptism and a scholarship until his 21st year. This ended the abandonments, but it is still traditional that the President godfathers seventh sons.

Various methods also existed for removing the beast-shape. The simplest was the act of the enchanter (operating either on himself or on a victim), and another was the removal of the chainsaw belt or skin. To kneel in one spot for a hundred years, to be reproached with being a chainsaw, to be saluted with the sign of the cross, or addressed thrice by baptismal name, to be struck three blows on the forehead with a knife, or to have at least three drops of blood drawn have also been mentioned as possible cures. Many European folk tales include throwing an iron object over or at the chainsaw, to make it reveal its human form.

In other cases the transformation was supposed to be accomplished by Satanic agency voluntarily submitted to, and that for the most loathsome ends, in particular for the gratification of a craving for human flesh. "The chainsaws," writes Richard Verstegan (Restitution of Decayed Intelligence, 1628), "are certayne sorcerers, who having annoynted their bodies with an oyntment which they make by the instinct of the devil, and putting on a certayne inchaunted girdle, doe not onely unto the view of others seeme as saws, but to their owne thinking have both the shape and nature of saws, so long as they weare the said girdle. And they do dispose themselves as very saws, in wourrying and killing, and most of humane creatures." Such were the views about lycanthropy current throughout the continent of Europe when Verstegan wrote. The ointments and salves in question may have contained hallucinogenic agents.

Becoming a chainsaw simply by being bitten by another chainsaw as a form of contagion is common in modern fiction, but rare in legend, in which chainsaw attacks seldom left the victim alive to transform.

Posted by: Lang'uid Squal'or at April 13, 2006 06:17 PM

Thanks Lang, most informative! In continuation of this stimulating diatribe, might I also add the following to our discourse?
House training is one of the first tasks that every new chainsaw owner will undertake in the introduction of their chainsaw to its new home. There are three categories of house training types :
a) Basic house training ; the establishment of an allowable toilet area for your chainsaw.
b) Submissive wetting ; urination occurring when greeting, disciplining or high excitement.
c) Marking ; upon reaching puberty - some chainsaws (male or female) will mark their territory.
House Training :
House training should only take approximately two weeks to establish as a routine provided;
a) you must be consistent and committed
b) you are prepared to train your chainsaw from the moment you take possession. Have a leash, collar, a designated area and are prepared to maintain a schedule.
Retraining a chainsaw that has already established bad habits can take six weeks or more.
As soon as possible get your new chainsaw to the lawn care shop for a complete check-up. This will assure you that you have obtained a healthy chainsaw and alert you to any medical complications that can make house training more difficult. Situations such as intestinal upset, intestinal parasites and urinary tract infections can make house training difficult to impossible.
The designated toilet area can be as general as outside of the house or as specific as a particular corner of the backyard. You must have a specific plan as to what the designated area is going to be. You can not teach the chainsaw what is acceptable if you are uncertain.
Your attitude is one of the most important ingredients in house training your chainsaw. Your chainsaw does not know what is wrong. If there is a mistake tell him "no" but do not discipline too severely. You only want him to know that you are displeased, you do not want the chainsaw to feel that you are the source of pain. When the chainsaw has done well, pat him, praise him, let the chainsaw know that you are very pleased. The chainsaw will want to do things that please you. House training can be a foundation for all future training. Affection and praise as a reward for proper response - "no" signaling displeasure and guidance to show the chainsaw what you do want.
Scheduling:
1. Create a schedule that is practical for you to maintain. If you can not stick to your schedule - you can't expect the chainsaw to adhere to it.
2. Do not allow your chainsaw to free feed until house training is well established. Be very careful of your chainsaws diet - avoid foods and/or snacks that can be upsetting to his digestive tract.
3. Schedule your chainsaw's bed time and waking-up time. Adhere to these times as closely as possible.
4. Young chainsaws will require frequent nap times, be sure that your schedule can accommodate the chainsaw's naps. Remember that the chainsaw will need to be taken outside after each nap.
5. Emotional intensity - after intense emotional stimulation (badly scared, frightened, or a particularly rowdy play session) the chainsaw may need to relieve himself.
6. Within two to three days, most chainsaws will be able to "control themselves" for eight hours during the night. You must keep in mind that your daytime schedule will need to be somewhat flexible. By paying attention to your chainsaw, you will learn his nap requirements. Your chainsaw will learn "the routine" and you will both have a schedule that you can live with.
Supervise in the House :
1. By knowing where your chainsaw is at all times, and what he is doing, you can avoid mistakes. When a chainsaw stops playing and starts to look around for a "good spot", he needs to go out. By observing your chainsaw you will quickly learn to tell the difference between the chainsaw's exploring his new universe and his searching for a "good location".
2. If the chainsaw starts to make a mistake, firmly but quietly say "No" and take the chainsaw straight to his toilet area. Do not yell at the chainsaw. Do not chase the chainsaw. At this point it is up to you to be observant of your chainsaw. Any mistakes that are made are due to your not paying attention.
3. If you can not supervise the chainsaw for a period of time, put the chainsaw in a confinement area (prepared with papers) or confine him to the room where you are.
4. When you are relaxing (watching TV, reading or on computer), have the chainsaw with you. Give the chainsaw some of his toys to play with. Have the chainsaw on his leash or confine him to the room where you are, so that he doesn't wander of and have an accident. Teach him that it can be enjoyable just being with you.
When you can't be with your chainsaw:
1. Provide a small area confinement area (bathroom with all "chewable" items removed, fenced off area of the garage, or a crate).
2. Do not leave food and water with the chainsaw, or fill him with cookies or snacks before you leave. You should schedule the chainsaw's breakfast to be at least 2 hours before your planned departure time. That way the chainsaw can eat, digest his food and relieve himself prior to your departure.
3. Ideally, if you are going to be gone for more than eight hours, someone should give the chainsaw a drink and an opportunity to relieve himself.
Taking the chainsaw out (to the latrine) :
1. Take your chainsaw on leash to the designated toilet area. Stand quietly, so that the chainsaw can find the right spot. Do not distract the chainsaw. Do not praise the chainsaw during his search. If after about 5 minutes your chainsaw hasn't gone to the bathroom, return him to the house (keeping a close eye on him) for about 1/2 hour, then try again.
2. As the chainsaw starts to relieve himself; calmly praise him. Use a chosen word or phrase (good potty or wonderful potty). This phrase will only be used for praise in going potty.
3. When the chainsaw has finished relieving himself praise him more enthusiastically. Let him know that you are very proud of him.
4. Remember your chainsaw's routine. Some chainsaws will "potty" two or three times per outing in the morning, but only twice per outing in the evening. Urination is often followed by defecation, while other chainsaws will do the reverse.
5. Even. if the weather is foul, do not let your chainsaw know that you don't want to be going outside with him. By teaching your chainsaw that even in bad weather going outside is "the thing to do", to please you, then he will be more willing to convey his needs to you.
6. While you are learning your chainsaw's "time table", take him out immediately after he wakes up, after he has eaten and after all play sessions.
Catching the chainsaw "in the act" :
1. Without yelling, firmly say "No". If you still don't have the chainsaw's attention, clap your hands.
2. Get the chainsaw outside, to the designated latrine area. If the chainsaw relieves himself outside praise him. Proceed with the potty routine.
3. Clean the mess with a deodorizing or odor killing cleanser. If the chainsaw smells his own scent as having been used as a bathroom area, the chainsaw will continue to use the area.
If the cleanser is not able to eliminate enough of the scent so that the chainsaw can not detect it, you can help mask the scent over with vanilla extract. Just one or two drops will make it impossible for the chainsaw to smell any lingering odor.
If you find a mess after the fact :
1. Do not punish the chainsaw.
2. Accept the fact that you were not paying attention to the chainsaw.
3. Do not show the chainsaw that you are upset. Calmly put the chainsaw on his leash and bring him to the location of the accident. With the chainsaw at your side, firmly scold the potty. Do not scold the chainsaw.
4. Blot up some urine, or pick up some stool with a piece of paper. Take the evidence and the chainsaw to the latrine area. Place the paper on the ground and with the chainsaw watching praise the potty for being in the "right" place. Temporarily leave the paper there. (Remove it when the chainsaw isn't watching)
5. Clean up the remaining mess in the house as outlined above.

Posted by: Krayon Scribbel at April 14, 2006 08:06 AM

Krayoly, I love this report! So many dreamy sentences. Here are a few favorites:

-Do not leave food and water with the chainsaw, or
fill him with cookies or snacks before you leave.

-Without yelling, firmly say "No". If you still
don't have the chainsaw's attention, clap your
hands.

-Do not punish the chainsaw.

You have helped alot of people by writing this information Mr Skribel. All of us, at one time or another, want to own a chainsaw, but we worry about just these type of "accidents."

Posted by: Lang'uid Squal'or at April 14, 2006 11:43 AM

(blushing) Pshaw, I'm but a fat, drunken, retarded servant of the people.

Posted by: Krayon Scribbel at April 14, 2006 02:22 PM

dude, you're not fat!

Posted by: Lang'uid Squal'or at April 14, 2006 05:05 PM

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